Imposter Syndrome and How to Build Self Confidence: A Conversation with Kelvin Beachum and Ebony Beckwith

Michael Rivo: Welcome back to Blazing Trails. I'm Michael Rivo from Salesforce Studios. Joining me today is my podcast partner, Rachel Levin. Welcome back to the show, Rachel.

Rachel Levin: Good to be here. And now you know I really exist, Michael, because we finally got to meet in person.

Michael Rivo: We met in person. Oh my God. What kind of shtick are we going to be able to do on the show now that we've actually met in person?

Rachel Levin: Michael, you're a lot taller in person than you appear on Zoom.

Michael Rivo: Well, that is... Go on. Say more about that. crosstalk

Rachel Levin: We had a great time. It was great. We met, we had some Mexican food and got to relate as people and not just through screens. So that was really novel for the times that we live in. And I imagine you have this experience that lots of people all around the world are having, lots of people who were hired during the pandemic and haven't been able to meet their coworkers and it's pretty surreal, but it's great.

Michael Rivo: Well, it was great to meet in person and I'll pick the restaurant next time and we'll have another lunch soon. I'm excited for that. So Rachel, tell me what we're going to hear on our episode today.

Rachel Levin: Today we're featuring a conversation from the Salesforce series Boss Talks with Ebony Beckwith. She's the Chief Philanthropy Officer here at Salesforce, and she launched the show on LinkedIn back in May, and it already has an audience of over a hundred thousand people. So it's been pretty successful. And what's really great about this show is that Ebony really just talks about life, leadership, and everything in between with guests that she brings on a weekly basis. And it's just a really refreshing show. Lots of good takeaways here.

Michael Rivo: Yeah, this is cool. I'm excited to run this episode on Blazing Trails. So who are we going to hear from today?

Rachel Levin: Well, Ebony spoke with NFL player Kelvin Beachum, and they talked about imposter syndrome. Have you ever suffered from that, Michael?

Michael Rivo: Well, I think we all have.

Rachel Levin: I'm suffering from it right now. What am I doing on this broadcast?

Michael Rivo: Exactly. I mean, fake it till you make it. But I think we've all felt that, anything that you try to do that's outside of your comfort zone, which is going to help you learn and help you grow, inevitably comes with some of those feelings about who am I to do this and can I do this and et cetera. And I think that's what's so great about Boss Talks, and what Ebony does on that show is face some of those things that are so common to all of us, but we just don't talk about very often.

Rachel Levin: Yeah. And she does it in such a relatable, comfortable way. So I really hope our listeners can tune in to her series on LinkedIn. And let's just dive in right now and let's listen to her conversation with Kelvin Beachum.

Ebony Beckwith: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the very first episode of Boss Talks. This is a new series presented by Salesforce, featuring candid career conversations with people I admire and for us to keep it real. Today, we're talking about imposter syndrome. This is a topic I get asked about all the time, and it's likely because everyone, I don't care who you are, has experienced imposter syndrome at one point or another. Imposter syndrome is that little voice inside that creeps in telling you that you can't do something and makes you question your own ability. This is something that can still pop up for me from time to time. And sometimes it just creeps in unconsciously. It can show up in a lot of different ways, whether it's feelings of self doubt or that fear of failure, even perfectionism or stress. But what really matters isn't the thought itself, but what you do with it. And that's where we're going to focus the conversation today. To help me out with that. I've invited my friend, investor, and NFL athlete Kelvin Beachum to share his experience and tips for turning negative self- talk into a powerful source of motivation. Kelvin, welcome to Boss Talks. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Kelvin Beachum: Thanks so much for having me.

Ebony Beckwith: I know I already spilled the beans a bit, but I want our audience to get a chance to know you a little bit better. Will you tell everyone a bit about your background and what are you up to today?

Kelvin Beachum: So originally from Mexia, Texas, about an hour and a half south of Dallas. I had the ability to go on a full ride scholarship to go and play football at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, then was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the 2012 draft. Played there four years, played a year in Jacksonville, played three years in New York, just finished a year in Arizona, and just signed a two year extension. So the journey continues. And excited to dive into this conversation that we have today.

Ebony Beckwith: Excellent. Well, I'm sure there were a few surprise reactions when people learn that you were going to be talking about the topic of imposter syndrome, because it's a common misconception that only women can experience imposter syndrome, but quite the contrary. Can you talk about your experience with imposter syndrome and how it's shown up for you both as an athlete and now as you endeavor in some of your other roles.

Kelvin Beachum: You know, I think it's a huge topic. And I think it's a topic and a conversation that every rookie or even newcomer to a team has just this feeling of, should I be here? Do I belong? You know, when I got to Pittsburgh as a rookie, they were about a year and a half removed from the Super Bowl in 2010. I had nothing but starters and guys who would play 60 plus games, Super Bowl champions that were in front of me that I was competing with. There was a lot of self doubt. Could I actually do this? When I went to Jacksonville, when I went to New York, am I built to go and be now the leader that they've thrust forward in this particular regard?

Ebony Beckwith: One of the things I find really detrimental about imposter syndrome is that negative self- talk. It really can hold me back from engaging and doing that next right thing. It's that voice in between my ears that causes me to hesitate and to hold back. Do you agree with that? Or what do you think is the most detrimental part of imposter syndrome?

Kelvin Beachum: You know, I just think it's this negative talk in this almost this is lack of self- esteem. We just allow these small instances to creep in and be able to change our psyche with it. And it's for us as individuals, as professionals, as colleagues, to find a way to not only be able to turn that around internally, but if we see it in somebody else, being able to just give them a little push to help them get over the hump that they need to as well.

Ebony Beckwith: What do you do to shut down that voice, to quiet that voice that tells you that you can't do something?

Kelvin Beachum: I go back to the foundation and for me, the foundation is faith. That's where everything starts to me. I'll go back to it, to what does my faith say? My faith says that I'm more than accomplished. That's where it starts at. And then it kind of bubbles up from there. And then again, I go back to what can I control? What can I control in this particular situation? I can control my effort, the work that I've put in, and the preparation that's needed. And I hate to make it seem so simple, but for me, I need to go back to those fundamentals. Us on the football field when we're not playing well, we go back to the fundamentals. If the coach doesn't like how practice is going, he'll start the practice over for us to go back to the fundamentals. So for me, it's going back to those fundamentals and back to that foundation and then starting from there and starting over and starting to prep myself for those next phases. Whether it's mentally, whether it's psychologically, whatever I need to do or whatever it may be, to get me back to the point where I know I can do this, I know that I belong, and I know that I can contribute in this particular room that I'm in, in this particular instance that I'm in at the moment.

Ebony Beckwith: I really love that you talked about the fundamentals, the foundation, because I really feel like those experiences really shape and mold you. I recently shared on LinkedIn something I heard from Mindy Kaling, which was really reminding myself all the hard work that I've had to do to get to wherever I am. Kind of what you talked about. When I think about every event I've showed up to early, every meeting I've done my research on, it really becomes impossible for imposter syndrome to make me doubt myself, because I've actually done the work. So what have you learned from your own experiences and how have those experiences shaped the man you've become?

Kelvin Beachum: It's when I'm able to walk into a room and I know that I did it right. And I know that I did all the legwork, all the preparation, all the diligence, all the research, sometimes more than my counterparts and sometimes more than the folks that are in that room. So I know that I've done that. But there are also instances... Right now I'm going to give you a perfect example. I went golfing with some folks that are way more accomplished than I am and have been golfing for a lot longer. Imposter syndrome crept in during that moment. Should I be doing this? Should I be out here playing with these high quality individuals, but have I prepared? I've only started playing three months. I've only been playing for three months, I've only been practicing for three months. You know, I'm a big inaudible about bank accounts. I have put any social deposits into that game to warrant me saying that I'm prepared. But if there are instances where you know you've prepared, you've put in the time, you've put in the work, you've put in the research and the diligence, you can walk in with your chest up, your head up proud, and know that you can go in there and slay like you need to. I've got daughters, so I want them to slay. Because they're prepared. My daughter does these spelling tests, we work on them all week. I expect her, when she comes home on Friday, she slayed that spelling test, because she's came in there and went in there with confidence and prepared all week for it.

Ebony Beckwith: I just want to switch the topic a little bit. You and I, I know we both share a passion for mentoring. For me, it's my way of paying forward what I've been so generously given by so many people. And I know you do the same for so many young people. Can you talk to us about what you're teaching them about imposter syndrome now that they can take with them into adulthood?

Kelvin Beachum: Yeah. One of the biggest things that I tell my mentors is be who you are, whatever that is. Be you, be confident in you, be comfortable in your own skin. And I don't think we talk about just that particular topic enough. Be comfortable in the skin that God has given you and the mold and the person that you are right now. And the thing is, is in this society we're pushed in all different types of ways. Social media is changing the way people, especially young people, see themselves. Be who you are, and that will take you anywhere you want to go. Be authentic, be genuine and be who you are, is what I continue to impart on my mentees.

Ebony Beckwith: Do your mentors, the people who mentor you, do you talk to them about imposter syndrome and what to do to get over that?

Kelvin Beachum: I talked to them about it a lot, because for me, especially as a ballplayer going into the business world, going into boardrooms, spending time with general partners, founders of firms, founders of companies, top ten CEOs, other billionaires, this is not a world that I came from. I came from working on cars and being Kelvin. It's a lot different when you're going into a boardroom. And I talk about that quite a bit. How should I be thinking about this? What should I be asking? How do I prepare myself to go into this particular situation? And that's the conversation that I've had with a number of my mentors, both males and females, about how should I be thinking about this particular concept with imposter syndrome as I'm going into this new arena? Playing football and being in a boardroom, yes, there are similarities, but they're two different things. And I want to make sure that I'm prepared as best I can on how to be able to transition into some of those things. And yes, my mentors, we talk about that, I would say at some point in every conversation that I have with my mentors.

Ebony Beckwith: One of the things I really appreciate about you is that I can definitely see your passion and commitment to lifelong learning and self- improvement, and then just paying that forward to the next generation. So really just well done on that. Okay. We have to pause and talk about these two beautiful daughters. I also know that you grew up surrounded by very strong women. And I'm curious, what is your advice for parents who are building mini bosses at home? This is something we chatted about in our breakout room. So I would love for you to share about building mini bosses. And then what did you take away from growing up around all these really strong women?

Kelvin Beachum: Early on, and then people have their own concept of how you speak to a child in the womb, I used to call my daughter and rub my wife's belly and say, you're a genius, before she even came out. When she came out, she was a genius. And me and my wife had both been adamant about trying to surround her with as much positive reinforcement and affirmation as possible. That's art that's in her room. She loves the violin. So we actually got her a painting of a young girl, a young black girl that's playing the violin that's in her room. We surrounded her with books by black authors. We expose her to as many positive reinforcements as possible. And especially to be a young black dad and being able to impart that on her. And then I will say what I got from both my mom and my sisters, they were... In a football world we call people that are really good, we call them dogs. They was monsters, they was freaks. My sisters, they were some bad mamajammas. On the basketball court, running track, in the classroom, playing volleyball. They had it all. I'm jealous of my youngest sister. My youngest sister won the state basketball championship in Texas. I never got that close. But I had some amazing women that I got to grow up with, now that are women that I got to grow up with and had a very, very strong mom who instilled these simple principles in us. So to see my mother, see my sisters, see my wife, my wife was actually in the room right now, finishing up a post- baccalaureate program, getting ready to head into med school. I got mini bosses and bosses all around me, so I have no choice but to act right.

Ebony Beckwith: That's right, act right. What advice do you have for parents who are building these mini bosses?

Kelvin Beachum: I think for one, I think in this society that we're living in right now, we want this microwave type of thing. We want them to be mini bosses from day one. I think we have, first and foremost, we have to allow these young people to be kids, allow them to grow up, allow them to mature and to take risks and experience life. But at the same time, find a way to provide affirmations every day. If it's taking the time... I walk with my daughter. Just the simplest thing as going to riding a bike with her on a daily basis. We're finding that individual time where you can spend the time to really invest in that child, especially these young girls right now, and taking the time to invest in them, taking the time to walk with them, to talk with them, to understand. It's times I ask my daughter, hey, is Daddy being too hard on you? She's my oldest. So I was the oldest. My dad was, mother was super hard on me. I talk to her, especially my oldest, consistently. Hey, is that Daddy being a little too hard on you? What can Daddy do better? So I think it's really taken that approach to really find a way to invest and be able to communicate, and I know this sounds simple, but really taking the time to invest, communicate, and just impart the knowledge that you have. And I'm still growing. I'm 31. I'm still growing as a father, so there's still things that I'm learning.

Ebony Beckwith: Final question. And I'm asking this to everyone and it's really about what their super power is. One of mine is risk- taking, I'm always pushing myself and those around me to go big. So Kelvin, what is your super power?

Kelvin Beachum: My super power... It's such a hard question. Actually, my super power, I get so much joy out of opening doors for other people. I take pride in it. I enjoy it. I look forward to it. I try to find ways to do it, whether they told me to do it, or they didn't tell me to do it. That's what's allowed me to get to where I am today, and where I know I'm going to be going in the future, but it's the willingness, and the openness, and the eagerness to just open doors for other folks.

Ebony Beckwith: That is a wonderful super power and way to pay it forward. Well, Kelvin, thank you so much for joining us and sharing your experience. I know there are so many people tuning in who are going to benefit from this, including myself. So again, thank you so much for being here today.

Kelvin Beachum: Any time, thanks so much for having me.

Ebony Beckwith: I really hope you all enjoyed today's conversation. To continue building valuable skills for your career, head over to Trailhead, Salesforce's free online learning platform that helps anyone skill up for in demand jobs in the Salesforce ecosystem. With that, I'm Ebony Beckwith. Thank you for tuning into Boss Talks. See you all next time.

Michael Rivo: That was Ebony Beckwith, Salesforce's Chief Philanthropy Officer, speaking with Kelvin Beachum from her LinkedIn series, Boss Talks. If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Michael Rivo from Salesforce Studios. Thanks for listening today.